It's All Over When the Cute Girl Cries

No guy can stand it. No matter how tough you think you are, no matter how much you can bench, or how much facial hair you can grow in a day, when it comes to crying all men are created equal. We hate it, society teaches us it’s weak, and when confronted by a crying person we’re left defenseless. For Hildy Johnson, crying was her ace of spades that she played on Walter Burns to break his macho act. His Girl Friday is yet another example of the male species weakness to a woman in tears.

Walter put on a show pretending he wanted Hildy to leave him for Bruce. She believed him too, but he could no longer pull off the stunt when Hildy started crying. Hildy breaking down into tears was the turning point in the two lovers’ final fight which prompted Walter to reconcile their problems and get back together. In other words, once the girl cried, he didn’t stand a chance.

For me and my fellow men, it is a natural response to try and be comforting. Our primary objective is not to fix what’s wrong; first it’s to stop the waterworks. A woman in tears is too much to bear for our hearts. No man can look at that and not feel remorse or sorrow. Crying has the power to break even the most evil and twisted hearts. So how powerful is the act of crying? In His Girl Friday it led Walter and Hildy to get remarried. What other human phenomenon can produce this type of result?

What Happens in the Old West, Stays in the Old West

As we come ever closer to the season seven premiere of Scrubs, the best TV show you’re probably not watching, I find it increasingly difficult to concentrate on other films, nonetheless dated Westerns. In the words of Dr. Bob Kelso, “It’s a hip-hop world son. Either keep up or get out of the way!” My point? Western’s are just not relevant in this day and age. I’m not so ignorant as to proclaim that watching Western’s has no benefit on people, any great movie can teach you something. But everything that makes a Western a Western is old-fashioned, dated, and is not something you would find in the 21st century.

The greatest problem with the Western is that the characters are becoming completely un-relatable. Making the protagonist in “Unforgiven” an old washed up cowboy certainly broke genre traditions, but the movie was forced to enter the fantasy realm because of it. Imagine William Munny in the modern day. For the sake of comparison, I’ll pick the most absurdly atrocious movie I can think of, “Pootie Tang.”
If you can fathom it, imagine William Munny plucked out of the Wild West and thrown into Pootie Tang’s world. He’d be an old man on a horse in the ghetto overwhelmed by moral decay. Even when ignoring all advances in technology, our culture as depicted in Pootie Tang is drastically different than the old West. The language barrier would be an enormous learning curve. Pootie would cry, “I'm going to sine your pitty on the runny kine!” Now considering I don’t even know what that means, how would you expect the likes of William Munny to? Or any character from a Western movie. The problem is the audience is more sophisticated than they are.

“Pootie Tang” is not a fair comparison because it represents today’s culture with 0% accuracy, but it does capture our state of mind. I don’t dislike Western’s, but I think as they age they’re beginning to feel antiquated. Unless Western’s can find a way to appeal to the modern world, they will very quickly become a dead genre, if they not already are. It’s a hip-hop world son. Either keep up or get out of the way!

We All Blog in a Yellow Submarine

On top of the TV in my room are three of my favorite movies of all time. It is an illustrious award to be granted a spot atop of my television, so it came as no surprise that one of the movies is also on Roger Ebert’s list of great movies. In all of its obsolete VHS glory, this movie is The Beatles “Yellow Submarine”.

“Yellow Submarine” came out in 1968 and it is basically a 90-minute long music video featuring twelve Beatles songs. The story revolves around Paul, John, George and Ringo and their quest to save Pepperland from the Blue Meanies, who hate music and happiness. The story is actually really accessible to little kids, which is important considering that this is around the time that Walt Disney started releasing animated movies. The plot is certainly engaging, and the art design is magnificent, but this movie would basically be pointless without the Beatles soundtrack. As Roger Ebert put it in his review,

With 11 songs by the Beatles [Yellow Submarine] certainly has the best music track of any animated film

There are a total of 12 Beatles songs played throughout the entire movie. Most of them are immediately recognizable such as “Eleanor Rigby”, “Yellow Submarine”, “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds”, and others. Most of the popular songs from their album Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band made their way onto the movie soundtrack. What’s more interesting is that some of the Beatles most popular songs were actually commissioned to be put in “Yellow Submarine”. “All Together Now” and “All You Need Is Love” made their debuts in the movie and today are now well known staples.

The Beatles agreed to make “Yellow Submarine” in order to get out of three-movie deal without actually appearing in a third movie. The voices are done by professional voice actors, so the only real Beatles you get are the songs (this is not really a bad thing). The movie could be described as a Beatles musical since the songs are used to accompany what’s happening on screen (or maybe the other way around). As the submarine passes through the Sea of Time, we see the Fab Four age rapidly and become old men to the tune of “When I’m Sixty-Four”. When the Beatles meet a new friend, Jeremy, a miserable loner creature, they sing “Nowhere Man”. The storyboard was most likely crafted to best utilize the songs and still make sense with the plot, despite whether or not they’re really necessary.

A lot could be said of the animation and the art direction in “Yellow Submarine”, even today it stands as one of the most uniquely crafted movies around, but without The Beatles music behind it the movie would flop. The soundtrack makes the movie immediately accessible and enjoyable to anybody at any age. The music is that powerful and that influential. The Beatles music gives the movie its psychedelic, peace-loving flavor that makes it unremarkably a product of the 60’s. And if you don’t like that, you still have the songs to fall back on. With arguably the best rock album ever recorded as your predominant soundtrack, you can’t really go wrong.

Snakes on a Stagecoach

Believe it or not, there are many similarities between "Stagecoach" and "Snakes on a Plane". For those of you who are not familiar, "Snakes on a Plane" is a pretty self-explanatory movie about a plane full of people getting attacked by snakes. The snakes were put there to kill Sean Jones, a kid who witnessed a murder committed by Eddie Kim, a notorious gang leader. "Snakes" and "Stagecoach" are similar in how they confine people from multiple social standings in a small place endangered by a common threat. In "Stagecoach", the characters are trapped in a stagecoach as they try to outrun the Native Americans to Lordsburg. "Snakes on a Plane" is a modernized version of this, where the characters are trapped on an airplane as they try to avoid the snakes.

Comparisons can also be made between the characters. Samuel L. Jackson's character, Neville Flynn, is the John Wayne of "Snakes on a Plane". Both Flynn and Ringo are ruthless and powerful characters who are forced into the position of protecting everybody else on the plane/stagecoach. It is not their mission to save everybody, but they take on that duty because they are heroes. Jones and Ms. Mallory hold the highest social standing in their respected means of transportation. Both are tried to be kept separate from the "lesser" characters. Jones, who is important because he is set to testify as a witness to put away a gangster, is isolated in first class away from everybody else on the plane. Ms. Mallory cannot be separated from everybody in the stagecoach, but she is left alone whenever the stagecoach stops and before and after she delivers her baby.

Both "Snakes on a Plane" and "Stagecoach" combine people from all realms of the social hierarchy into a closed-off "mini-society". "Stagecoach" includes every character from the Western world: escaped convict, banker, prostitute, army wife, drunken doctor, and your regular cowboys. Once confronted with danger, social rank becomes less important in the stagecoach. Gatewood selfishly suggests that the passengers prematurely leave for Lordsburg without letting Ms. Mallory and her newly born child rest. Gatewood's character is also found in "Snakes on a Plane" as Paul, a grumpy British businessman. Paul sacrifices another passenger's dog to a boa constrictor for his own safety. The passengers on the plane eventually storm first class, where Jones is located, to escape the snakes but also endanger Jones. Every member of each class was forced to work together in order to survive.

Well Mise-en-Scene by Welles

"Citizen Kane" was a revolutionary movie in respect to it's use of mise-en-scene. The story of Charles Foster Kane's life was told through a series of flashbacks. Welles used make up and costumes to help the viewer determine what time period the movie was currently in. We first meet adult Kane as a dashing young man only interested in his newspaper. Overtime, Kane grows rounder and his hair recedes. Welles does an excellent job of contrasting young Kane to old Kane to help the viewer make sense of the flashbacks. This is true of most of the other characters, such as Susan, Leland, or Thatcher.

Since "Citizen Kane" tries to recount the life of Charles Foster Kane it requires many settings. Some of the settings in the movie were created using paintings, such as the opening shot of Xanadu or Kane's political rally. Welles contrasts all of Kane's various houses, starting with the small, humble winter cottage he grew up in as a boy to the very extravagant Xanadu palace. At the end of the movie, we see Kane and Susan together in Xanadu. The setting is notably empty aside from various statues. Yet Kane's basement is overflowing with his life's belongings. This shows how Kane grew up to be a man who owned everything he wanted but still led an empty life.

"Citizen Kane" uses high key and low key lighting to felsh out character traits. The most notable of these is the reporter who is trying to discover the meaning of the word Rosebud. The reporter is always in the dark on the bottom right side of the screen. This choice in lighting takes the attention away from the reporter and concentrates it all on Kane. Welles likes to use low key lighting during the major turning points in the movie. When Susan tries to commit suicide, he employs low key lighting to reveal her distress and insecurity about her marriage and her singing. When Kane fires Leland, Welles again uses low-key lighting to emphasize the contrast between the two characters. "Citizen Kane's" unique use of mise-en-scene helped establish it as one of the best American movies ever made.

Journal #2: Pan's Labyrinth is A-Maze-ing

Anybody who says they don’t like foreign films or that they don’t match up to American films has clearly never seen “Pan’s Labyrinth”. Forget any misconceptions you may have about this movie, because it is a piece of art that must be experienced to fully understand. No, this is not the greatest foreign film ever made, but it is the type of movie that sticks with you for weeks and haunts your brain. Directed by Guillermo Del Toro, “Pan’s Labyrinth” spins an epic tale of a little girl’s magical adventure, which when paralleled to the brutal tortures committed by her fascist father, the captain, combine to deliver a potent look into the nature of good and evil that will leave you second-guessing it’s reality.

“Pan’s Labyrinth’s” is set right after the end of the Spanish Civil-War. The movie begins to the main character, Ofelia, played by Ivana Baquero, discovering a fairy in the woods. Ofelia is a young girl who is completely immersed in fairy tales. Upon reaching her father’s military base, she discovers ancient ruins and meets a faun who sends her on a three part mission to reclaim her throne as the princess of the underworld. While dealing with her magical adventure, Ofelia is troubled because her mother is pregnant and becoming very sick. Ofelia does not like to acknowledge her new father, the captain, and refuses to call him dad. Baquero puts child actors in the States to shame and is just as terrific as she is terrifying on screen. Even without actually being able to understand what she says (the entire film is subtitled) she comes off mysterious and preoccupied with her fairy tales. Her childhood innocence stands completely opposite to the captain. Her father is a merciless military captain, played by Sergi Lopez, and is quite possibly one of the most cruel and heartless characters that can be found in modern cinema.

It is a common misconception that “Pan’s Labyrinth” is a movie about magic and mythical creatures. While this is true, it is also important to understand that this movie earns its R rating—and then some. When the viewer is first introduced to the captain, we see him interrogate two peasants thought to be rebel spies. They claim to be hunting rabbits, but before they can be properly searched, the captain hammers in one of the peasants face with the butt of his gun and then proceeds to shoot the other. Del Toro shows us ALL of the of captain’s brutality and senseless violence. We are further shocked when the Captain pulls a rabbit out of the peasants pack and he walks away emotionless and completely undisturbed.

For the viewers that are not fluent in Spanish you should be informed that “Pan’s Labyrinth” was not re-dubbed in English and is completely subtitled. The subtitles are fantastic and were written by Del Toro himself, but it is unfortunate that you must pay so much attention to the bottom of the screen to understand what’s going on. “Pan’s Labyrinth” has won Oscars for make-up, cinematography, and art direction. Unfortunately, non-Spanish speakers can not appreciate all of that during the first viewing because it requires a fair amount of concentration on the subtitles to keep up with the story. They go by so quickly that not paying attention for as little as 30 seconds can prevent you from understanding the entire scene.

“Pan’s Labyrinth’s” most significant achievement is the creation of Ofelia’s magical world and its ability to still stay rooted in reality. The costumes are magnificent, but not overly fantastical that they would be mistaken for Disney characters. The faun and the pale man, both controlled by Doug Jones, are fearsome mystical creatures. The sets help set the mood for the characters. The crypt where Ofelia meets the faun is the full realization of a child’s fairy tale with its aging stonework and earthly-looking ruins. But it is located just outside the captain’s military base and it never feels completely distant from the village, only hidden.

“Pan’s Labyrinth” deserves the title of “great movie” and justifies being near the top of anybody’s Netflix queue.